Lack any sort of creative spark for writing, but I figure I should at least get down the basics of what occurred in Vegas and perhaps learn from the mere experience of putting it down on blog.
First: The trip was immensely solipsistic. Being alone in Vegas is a bit of a soul crushing experience. Everything in Vegas is opposed to the solo traveler. The drunken idiots stumbling about everywhere with their drunken friends, even the families, even the hookers, they all leave one with a sense of utterly irrevocable loneliness. The few times I stumbled home drunk myself, alone like an incredible idiot, I realized that the point of Vegas is not to be in Vegas, but to do silly things with your friends in Vegas. So, the city held basically nothing for me except poker.
As poker took hold as the only thing in my life, I began to lose hold of myself when I started to lose. I lost patience and played even worse. I always overthought live poker, but it got even worse as I started to lose more. Most importantly, I couldn't cope with the losses like I could with online play. In online play perhaps I would play for a few hours, lose some money, and then get my mind off of it by doing other things, relying on the support of my native city and friends and doing so quite easily and naturally. Unfortunately, in Vegas I had no such recourse. Thus I found myself constantly within myself...moping, analyzing, and losing the spirit that I had when I first embarked on this trip. I became negative towards myself and my game, and this had crippling effects on the rest of the trip.
Now I stand home, a poorer but wiser man. I'm not sure how I will cope with losing in live play while I am traveling, if I still end up going on my road trip that is. But I realize I need to take breaks, relax more, and do whatever I need to do to keep my head up high. All that said...I'm not sure if I actually can do that. Right now, I feel quite low. My hopes for the trip have diminished. My future looks a bit bleak. I worry happiness is not something I will aquire anytime soon.
Friends and Women are the two final pieces to this puzzle. I can be happy being alone and successful. Especially if I can successfully embark on creative endeavors alongside poker or whatever means for money making I can find. But it's certainly not the peak of my condition. I need friends, a strong group of friends that allows comraderie and allows me to escape outside of myself. I have no clue how I will find such a group, or how long it will take. What is certain is that on this trip, I will be without it, and that can be very hard to take. This trail of thought haunts me.
I have no prospects regarding women. I don't have any optimism for the future in that regard. This trail of thought haunts me the most. I will have to become incredibly self-realized and successful to be able to live a life without companionship and to be happy with my life at all. My hopes are dimmed signficiantly.
Finally, I lack money for the trip and I can't play poker at my parents house like I planned. This is bad news. I am almost seriously considering installing a separate connection, but that would rqeuire a much longer stay at my parents than I was previously considering. Unfortunately, money concerns might force the issue. I might also move to bountiful and play there, but it is likely my sister would not be incredibly pleased with that turn of events. It is certain that I would be not too pleased, as Park City has beautiful weather to offset the loneliness and boredom...bountiful has mandarin chinese food and that's it.
The future is a bit bleak, but, things change...both world and perception change.
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Wednesday
Thursday
A Hand at the Rio
An interesting hand occurred last night playing 2/5 NL at the Rio last night.
I have 750 and everyone has me covered. Preflop there's a button straddle, a raise to 35, and 2 callers before me. I have 79 of clubs one off the button and call. Button straddle calls.
Flop comes 254 two clubs. Checked around to button, who bets 80 into a 180 dollar pot. All folds to me. I call out of position heads up with the button.
Turn comes the 3 of not clubs but presenting another flush draw. I check. Button checks.
At this point I feel like the possibility of him having a straight is fairly low.
River is a probable blank, a jack that completes no flushes. I think about betting for a moment, but decide that such a bet would likely be called very light, and I suppose it's possible he does have an ace, or possibly a set he simply won't fold. I check to him, and he bets 220. At this point my shit detector is ringing loud and clear.
Against a good player in a 400NL online game I would simply give up at this point. He knows everything that has transpired leads me to believe he's full of shit. He would likely call me down here with as a low two pair simply because there's no reason for him to believe that I have anything, and he knows I could be making a play on the river.
Against a below average player, a reshove over the top on the river might be mandatory. He's shown little strength over the course of the hand and he's not going to call a reshove without a straight. His thought process will likely not extend past the point of 'I'm not calling another 400 with a set on that board'.
However, in this live game to which I was fairly new, all I knew was that I was against a loose french player with a very large stack in front of him. And perhaps he was the type to call down very light simply because he was a fish (even worse than the below average player above!). So I reluctantly mucked my nothing hand in this spot due to a lack of a read on my opponent, even though it was very unlikely that he had a straight. An Ace straight is possible, but I also believe that given the two flush draws he would probably bet the ace on the turn.
He showed T8 no flush draw for absolutely nothing after he folded. I told him he had the best hand and that it was a nice value bet. He got up one orbit later and the whole table left with him. Damn.
I have 750 and everyone has me covered. Preflop there's a button straddle, a raise to 35, and 2 callers before me. I have 79 of clubs one off the button and call. Button straddle calls.
Flop comes 254 two clubs. Checked around to button, who bets 80 into a 180 dollar pot. All folds to me. I call out of position heads up with the button.
Turn comes the 3 of not clubs but presenting another flush draw. I check. Button checks.
At this point I feel like the possibility of him having a straight is fairly low.
River is a probable blank, a jack that completes no flushes. I think about betting for a moment, but decide that such a bet would likely be called very light, and I suppose it's possible he does have an ace, or possibly a set he simply won't fold. I check to him, and he bets 220. At this point my shit detector is ringing loud and clear.
Against a good player in a 400NL online game I would simply give up at this point. He knows everything that has transpired leads me to believe he's full of shit. He would likely call me down here with as a low two pair simply because there's no reason for him to believe that I have anything, and he knows I could be making a play on the river.
Against a below average player, a reshove over the top on the river might be mandatory. He's shown little strength over the course of the hand and he's not going to call a reshove without a straight. His thought process will likely not extend past the point of 'I'm not calling another 400 with a set on that board'.
However, in this live game to which I was fairly new, all I knew was that I was against a loose french player with a very large stack in front of him. And perhaps he was the type to call down very light simply because he was a fish (even worse than the below average player above!). So I reluctantly mucked my nothing hand in this spot due to a lack of a read on my opponent, even though it was very unlikely that he had a straight. An Ace straight is possible, but I also believe that given the two flush draws he would probably bet the ace on the turn.
He showed T8 no flush draw for absolutely nothing after he folded. I told him he had the best hand and that it was a nice value bet. He got up one orbit later and the whole table left with him. Damn.
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